As a fervent student of the Lefkoe Method and Morty’s life’s work, I’ve come to understand that he we encourageing us to stop attaching immeasurable qualities to measurable experiences. For instance, have you ever felt “unwanted” or “unloved”? Most would answer, “yes” right? I know I have many times in the past, and the feelings I felt from deciding that those beliefs were aspects of me truly diminished my quality of life for decades. But here’s the problem…
"Unloved" and "Unwanted" Are Impossible in Reality
Why? Because those words are adjectives and adjectives don’t exist in the real world. The are labels used by certain creatures on earth to give defintion (comparison) to observable objects and experiences. Humans are so good at generalizing it can seem like we can “see” or “feel” in observing experiences that we are both “unloved” and “unwanted”. But what is it we are observing?
But I Was Certain it Was "True"
One way I was sure that I could see that I was “unloved” and “unwanted” was when others ignored me. I could be in a large group of strangers, friends, or with a single individual, it didn’t matter. This conclusion often left me with feelings of anxiety and sometimes depression and hopelessness. Why would I make this up?
I Used Events From My Childhood to Decide These Beliefs
I was ignored a lot by my parents when I was a young boy and often sent away to do things on my own. Since, I like all children was in the process of building an human identity (“I am”) I used the actions of my parents to construct what would be the most logical (but impossible) reasons as to why they were behaving the way they were. I carried the statements, “I am unloved” and “I am unwanted” into adulthood and it caused me a lot of pain and made me a pain to be around.
Like I Said Before, Morty Lefkoe's Work Saved My Life
Thank everything that I stumbled upon Morty’s work late one night while on the computer. I knew I found something uniquely wonderful when I read that negative core beliefs – thoughts that are for most are considered to aspects of a person – could be permanently elimanted from a person’s mind. In the work is the message that it made sense that I concluded these impossible statements, they were indeed not aspects of who I am nor can they be found in the observable universe. They came from me and were therefore not reality or “the truth”.
Fortunately, as an adult i can play the game of possibilities. I can remember how I was treated as a child and come up with many different explanations for what those interactions meant. What happened to me could mean:
- My parents were living through their own unhealed childhood wounds and that is what drove their actions.
- If my parents had worked with Morty Lefkoe and really put in the effort required to eliminate permanent beleifs, their concepts of self, the world and their children would have drastically transformed which would have changed their behaviors and how they interacted with me. As a result, I would have most likely concluded something else about me.
- Maybe they didn’t want “me”, but they truly have not idea who I am, so it’s impossible that “” can be unwanted or unloved by them or anyone else.
- Maybe they were just stressed out a lot when I was a child?
- Maybe there were things going on that I could not understand?
- Maybe they were not skillful as parents?
- Maybe I’m not the brightest kid in the history of kids (very likely) so my conclusions are merely expressions of the limits of my intelligence? (I love this one)
Remember, Descriptions Are Made Up by People
If I tried replacing a conclusion like, “I’m uwanted” to one of the different conclusions above and still cannot shake the negative belief, I can continue to remind myself that “unwanted” and “unloved” are not measurable in an of themselves. We use behaviors to prove these words such as pointing out a parent’s neglect as an example. But as terrible as neglect is for a child, it never makes that child “unwanted” or “unloved”. I don’t feel now like my neglect made me these things, so I must have made up those words when describing me. I was the source of my unwantedness and unlovedness back then and can’t be anymore thanks to Morty’s amazing process!
Are You Ready to Have the Life You Want Before It's Too Late?
If I freak you out in a way that gets you take the best actions for you, then I’ve done a great service to humanity. You really are running out of team each moment of your life here on Earth. Do you want to be free of the limitations that I struggled with for most of my life? You can do it today and I will help! Let’s work together on destroying the patterns that are making your life stink! My hope is that you have a wonderful day and wonderful week and I’ll see you soon!